Paper Pie

18 Months

This past weekend Rylie turned over the 18 month mark. As any mama would tell you, that time has flown faster than seems possible. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched my bald baby bird chasing her 4-year-old cousin through the museum yesterday. I went through all of our photos this morning, which is always a very sentimental exercise for me, and picked out some from her first 18 months.

It seems that I am the type that takes oh so many photos (sometimes it is downright ridiculous) and most of the buzz happens in the moments and days after we have just captured the shots. We take a photo and then we have to look at it on the screen to see if the light and framing are to our liking. We get them home and download the card to the computer and look through them again, we ooh and aah and talk about our plans of printing them at large format, framing them and hanging them on the wall. And we never do. Days and weeks pass and we forget about those photos because on the River of Us Three - we have definitely hit the rapids - we are in kayaks not intertubes. We don't forget them out of apathy, but more because those wonderful moments are replaced with more wonderful moments that we want to hang on the wall. One of these days we are going to get down to decision making (someday very soon.)

But what these photos do is remind me of the impermanence of all things, the fleeting nature of babyhood, childhood, time. They help me to reframe the snaphot of my life and remember that Rylie will not be this little forever, that our time right now will someday be photographs and memories, and there truly is a time for everything. They help me remember what it was like here, now, in this apartment, on this street, in this city in California. They remind me to be present every moment, or as much as I possibly can, and to guard my gratitude because we are so, so blessed.

As Rylie is officially now closer to two years than one, it makes me marvel at the passage of time and the wonderful miracle of life. How with a little help from mom and dad, her body knows just what to do to grow and thrive. Becoming a parent has helped me to re-evaluate what is important and that life is truly a gift not to be squandered or taken for granted. Little Rylie pants is running, cutting molars, expanding her vocabulary, sprouting hair, demonstrating her will and last week used her potty for the very first time. When she wakes in the morning and from her naps, she no longer cries, she just yells an emphatic "Mom!" She is growing, changing, and I am here, present, enjoying the now and holding back tears as I sift through the photographed moments we have already sailed right through.

Hello From Sunday

What did you do today?

Links To Share

What I am finding this weekend. I hope you discover something new!

* I really want to knit this and the pattern is FREE

* Remember what is essential

* A website full of eye opening information

* Fascinating

* A beautiful Etsy shop

This Moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Amanda Soule 

The Casual Organizer: Toy & Art Closet

Becoming a parent changes your life in tremendous and profound ways, and oddly enough we felt somewhat prepared for that shift. Not that we had any idea what it would feel like, or what our days would be like, but we were open and ready for anything. However, what we did not anticipate is just how much stuff comes into the home when you have a new baby. In the beginning, things are manageable, especially if you co-sleep and breastfeed as we do. But by this point, as we are nearing the 18 month mark, we are wondering just how many belongings can fit under one roof. After this past Christmas, a lot of our gifts sat on a bookshelf in our living room that I would pass by day after day wondering where it would all go. I knew it was time to get a system figured out (I secretly love this kind of organizing.) This is how our house looked as I was doing the figuring.

On days like this one, when all of the closets are spilling their guts and there is not a place to walk because of stuff overload, I realize it is time for a good purge. With some shuffling about which set off a chain reaction of other piles of stuff being shuffled about, we figured out the best place for all of the toys and art supplies was the closet in our living room. One of the best features of this apartment are the huge walk in closets in every room.


It was important to us to keep all of Rylie's toys visible and at her eye level so that she can easily see what is available to her. We keep a limited number of toys on these shelves at one time and we have a library of other toys that we rotate in on occasion to keep her interest. I also wanted to organize the growing art and craft collection which you can see in the bins on the top two shelves. But perhaps the best thing in this whole closet: open space. Bare shelves with air and room to grow. And when the toy situation becomes unruly, out of control and spilling all over as it inevitably will, we can either clean it out or simply close the door. Brilliant.





And how does Little Miss like it? Well, she just can't wait to show it off to everyone that comes over. Including her Grandma Scott that just flew in from North Carolina today!

Happy Birthday, Mama

This is my mom and I in February of 1977 (see in the bottom right? I love old photos with the date sitting quietly in the corner like that.) I am about six weeks old. She is only 19 years old. She looks tired. I look ready to wail. She is undoubtedly in the thick of meeting needs and discovering limitations. Today is her birthday and what an appropriate time to celebrate her on the heels of yesterday's post. Now, that I am 35, I feel like I am just beginning to appreciate and understand all that she has given to me.

We live very far apart now - like 2,193 miles apart - but she once cared for me in the way I care for Rylie, diaper change after diaper change, meal after meal and sleepless night after sleepless night. The work and challenges of motherhood are universal, and timeless. Our shared, common experiences play over and over. In all the ways that our stories are similar, they are also very different. My young mama didn't have the internet or a group of moms to consult about sleep patterns and teething pain. She didn't have a vast library of books explaining different parenting styles, breastfeeding, or education philosophies. She used her intuition and tradition. And, really, she had all that she needed.

It is no doubt that having a child of your own opens your eyes wide to what it must have been like for your own parents. I have gained a perspective on them that I could not have gotten any other way. I think about my mom when I am carrying out all of the practical aspects of running a household and being a mom, but most of all, I think of my mom when I am gazing into Rylie's eyes and contemplating how precious it is to be alive. And I think, my mom must have felt this tender and amazing love for me too. Over the years she has shown and professed her love to me countless times, but until I became a mom, I had no idea of the depth of that love. It is instinctual, primordial, in the bones.

My mom, with my sister and I c. 1981. I'm still wailing!

This is my mom last November with her two youngest grandchildren, born on the very same day. There is a sparkle and happiness in her eyes here and I can see her pride. It makes me wonder about having more children, and maybe someday, grandchildren of my own. If I feel this much love for my own daughter right now - how does that love grow? How does it expand and multiply when your children have children? How can it get bigger? How can it all fit into one heart?

Love you, Mama! I hope you are having a beautiful day.

On Motherhood

One afternoon last week, I was changing Rylie's diaper when she suddenly turned over with all of her strength and stood on her head in wild and loud protestation. She had never done this before nor had she given me any indication that she was upset. She had made herself stiff as board and it was an effort to pry her grip from the railing of her changing table. I took her to the bed, which she sometimes prefers, and she was still very upset and defintely showing me her strong will. It was difficult, but I eventually got her clean enough to pick up and hold next to me and she started to mellow. It was emotional - for both of us.

Later that day, still rattled from my girl's meltdown and contemplating what seemed to be the beginning of new behaviors and strong emotions, I emailed a mama friend about our experience. To be honest, I was a bit hesitant to share my struggles, but I also felt desperate for reassurance. She wrote me back with a very similar story that had happened to her that very same day and confessed that, though she was sorry I had a bad day, she was glad to hear that she was not the only one. Everything that she had expressed in her email matched my thoughts and sentiments exactly. There I was, realizing once again that us mothers need to stick together. There are common threads, good and bad, and by sharing the less than glorious moments; we find comfort, camaraderie, consolation.

It is a concious effort for me to really and truly open myself up. It is something I remind myself of hourly. However, when I do, rather it be about motherhood or anything else, I connect with people honestly, wholly and on deeper levels. I also find that it inspires others to do the same. It is a game of who will go first. Who will open the door and tell the truth - who will communicate authentically?

That day turned around for us. Rylie napped, we played, we fingerpainted, and later that night in the kitchen, we all three put togeter a pie in "her" kitchen and ate it too. She dug her little hands right in and brought them to her mouth, making chomping noises. She loved all the noise her whisk made as she banged it around in the tin pie plate. The next morning she awoke very upset and for the first time since she was an infant, was difficult to console. The only thing that calmed her was bringing her to the window to look outside. So we put on our coats over our jammies, traded our slippers for sneakers, and brought her bike to the sidewalk for an early morning ride. It calmed her completely and she made passersby on the street smile while shouting hi and ba bye and doggie.

It has been up and down around here. We seem to have turned a corner and Rylie's moods are getting stronger and much more pronounced. Now, more than ever, I am striving to be present, focused and intentional about meeting these challenges moment by moment. I am reminded daily of the importance of creativity in parenting and skillfully meeting everyone's needs - including my own. And, perhaps most of all, I must remember the tremendous support and comfort that can come from reaching out to other mamas.

Links To Share

Here is what I am finding on this rainy Saturday. Enjoy!

* Us three LOVE this YouTube channel

* Can not wait until this is in theaters

* This blog is sucking me right in . . .

* Keep on the Sunny Side

* Looking for chevrons?

This Moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Amanda Soule 

The Casual Organizer: Rylie's Kitchen

I have been working on this little project for a while now. This sturdy, simple play kitchen was gifted to Rylie on her first birthday from Mama and Papa (although, we did not actually order it until November. She didn't seem to mind.) I have been collecting little bits here and there and she is officially well-equipped. She is most fond of her rolling pin and dinner bell.


I've been making some things for her too, like this apron. The pattern is written for a 3-5 year old so I sized it down, maybe a little too much because it fits Rylie perfectly right now but I think she will grow out of it soon. It was a quick project though, so I can easily make her a new one when the time comes. The fabric is called Out Of Doors and it is a part of my Domestic Bliss line. We have a new routine; I go over to where all of my aprons hang and put one on and tell Rylie to get her apron on it is tme to cook. She beams from ear to ear and runs to her apron, I slip it over her head and we get busy. I also stenciled her the litte green canvas grocery bag that she can take with us when we go to the market.

The kitchen was love at first sight for Rylie. This morning she was putting every single dish in the sink and once it was all full, she started throwing them on the floor. I saw her using her creamer to pour cream into the teapot the other day too, so cute. She also loves to climb all over it and her favorite thing really is to open the oven and to use it as a step to reach the top shelf.

While I was setting up her spot, I decided to organize our collection of favorite photos on the side panel of the refrigerator. There are pictures of all of Rylie's cousins, pictures of mama and papa, one of my favorites of my sister and I as little ones. I used clear contact paper to stick a square of the same fabric as the apron behind them. And what is a kitchen without some fanciful art? I grabbed the framed black and white silhouetted postcards at an estate sale years ago and the red and pink one is from last year's letterpress calendar.

This little spot was such a joy to put together for Rylie. I loved dreaming up how I could make it special for her. It is such a quality, durable item, we can hand it down to siblings and to future generations as well. I was thinking that Ryan and I should write a little message to her on the back - must remember to do that. It makes me smile when I think of all of the memories and hours of play that will happen in this little corner - right now, and for many years to come.