Paper Pie

Little Shoreline Vest

Last week I put the finishing touches on the first piece I have knit for Otis since his tiny baby booties back in 2013. This was also my first ever vest, which is easier than a full on sweater because there are no pesky sleeves to contend with, just stitch up the shoulder seam and call it done. This is the Little Shoreline Vest knit with Peace Fleece in the Mourning Dove colorway. Oh, and it should be mentioned that I found a fantastic button source in town aptly named, The Button Store. And in the interest of full (closure) disclosure, I may or may not have spent more on the 3 buttons than the yarn . . . ahem. I'm noticing know there is not really a great detail shot of them, but alas, Otis is FAST!

When I found this pattern I immediately asked Otis if I could make it for him and he was very excited that I would be knitting for him this time. However, I've been around the under 5 set long enough to know that asking them to wear said garment is an entirely different story. Once I had finished and blocked the vest, I hung it in the closet for a few days to give myself some breathing room before I was all expectant. After a few days, I noticed an opportunity as we were off to a chilly afternoon playdate. To my delight, Otis was so happy to put it on. His only complaint was that the yarn was itching his neck when the top button was closed, so we unbuttoned it in a jiffy. The vest held up to hours of play, both the active and contemplative kind. Because it only buttons up top and the rest of it is open around his belly and waist, he had plenty of room to move around just as he pleased. He loved wearing it, and at the end of the day actually said, "Thank you for making my vest, mom." I mean seriously . . . he said that. My heart has been swelling ever since. 

They Love Me, They Love My Garlic Knots

I've been in a bit of a baking frenzy over here, inspired by the most recent issue of Taproot magazine. Earlier this week the kids and I made a chocolate layer cake (more on that soon) and last night I made whole wheat garlic knots from scratch. It is such a rewarding and not too difficult endeavor to make your own dough whether you're making bread, pizza, bagels, pie, pretzels, etc. That was certainly the case here with these rather enormous garlic knots. My first bite of the warm, fresh garlicky goodness, and I knew I had made the right choice by giving the dough a second rise in the fridge over night. 

I love taking the time to make food completely from scratch. It's not something I do everyday, but I work it in on the regular. It's a value for me, really. That's not to say that we don't eat our share of stuff that comes in packages, and I am quick to let go and let myself off the hook in those instances. But, when I slow down and give myself the time to putz around and really enjoy the process of making something — that is a welcome experience that nourishes more than my body. Bread might be one of the best choices for something to work on slowly in the kitchen. Kneading the dough by hand takes longer but it also provides a tactile experience and helps me imagine what it would be like if I had to do this work day in and day out to feed my family. It allows me, in that brief span of time, to envision what life was like before one could drive down the street to the grocery store and buy a loaf of bread in a plastic sleeve off the shelf.

The garlic knots were a hit with everyone! I loved them because they greatly enhanced my leftover (boring) soup that I ate for dinner. Ryan loved them because he walked in the door after a long hard day and there was piping hot fresh bread at the ready. For the kids, I served just the roll and left the garlic, salt and parsley off and they gobbled them right up. If nothing else, these kids of mine love bread! About as much as they love to take photos. Thank you to Rylie for snapping the shot at the very top while I was kneading away.

Always in a Tree

Fairy House!

Yesterday was all about the tree house next door. Today, we're on to another type of dwelling in the backyard that the kids are all excited about: these charming fairy houses.

Rye and Oats received these kits from their besties for Christmas and we've been waiting for the wind and rain to calm a bit before settling them into the backyard. Since we seem to have skipped right over spring and have entered into summer (with the 90 degree days and all) we figured it was safe to get building.

The high quality kits from The Felted Tree Etsy shop are pretty irresistible. They include a painted house, fabric bunting, gravel, sticks, shells, a flower pot and many more little surprises and are very pleasing to my detail-oriented self. Perhaps, the sweetest part is the teensy glass corked bottle in which you can leave a message for the fairies and in turn the fairies can do the same. In addition, I have just discovered the brilliant idea of changing the fairy houses per the season and decorating them for different holidays. Ummm. Count me Rylie and Otis in.

The kids were so excited to get these homes established in the backyard. Once we had them all arranged PERFECTLY, we all 3 realized:
"hey, the gardner comes tomorrow."
Head scratch.
"with his leaf blower."
No matter. We found some tomato cages and used them to establish a boundary around the lilliputian dwellings. I was also charged with telling Lawny Grass (Rylie's name for the gardner) IMMEDIATELY upon his arrival of these very special homes in our backyard. He was eager to comply and all is well so far.

Each morning the kids have been running out to the back first thing in the morning to check for clues that would indicate overnight visitors of the fairy variety. However, so far it looks as though the fairies are not aware of these new houses that are just waiting for some lively visitors. But, I have a feeling it won't be too long now... 

Tree House!

While on the topic of all there is to be grateful for when considering our current living situation, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the gem of a tree house that is just on the other side of the fence in our backyard. We have been in our place for a good long while, and a nice benefit to that sort of longevity is the comfort and familiarity that comes with our neighbors and the relationships we've built with the other families living around us. Ours is truly a sharing economy and this gem of a tree house is no exception.

This is a play structure of creative genius. Built from found materials like pallets, fencing and ropes, it is modular and the arrangement of its parts can transform and change as the kids see fit. It consists of a platform underneath a big shade tree, so not exactly in the tree but all the better to change and rearrange when one might want to add, oh, you know, a working drawbridge! There is plenty of shade, plenty of rope and imaginative play for days. We feel so lucky to live next to such an amazing little place.

Pine Forest

I've been knitting for a good long while now and have taken on all manner of projects: hats, scarves, socks, kid sweaters, bags, and have even knit a few dresses for Rylie (back when she would still allow me to dress her.)
But a sweater for just me. No, now that has never happened, until my dear sweet mother-in-law gifted me this beautiful pattern and some yummy yarn this past Christmas. It was such a sweet gesture, and just the gentle nudge I needed to venture outside of my comfort zone. I always felt like doing a sweater for a grown up would be such a major challenge. Mine is a much bigger torso to cover than that of my little ones, after all. And then the fit. How does that work? Just knit knit knit and hope for the best? And sleeves? You have to do 2?


However, this sweater here, just might be the best first sweater to knit in the whole world. It knit up quick, it is seamless, and the three quarter sleeves kill some of the dreaded dpn pain. This is Sabine by Julie Weisenberger, knit with Filatura Di Crosa Gioiello (a very fancy sounding yarn from Italy). It is delicate, light as a feather and easy - the perfect Southern California sweater.

Coincidentally, the color way for this yarn is called pine forest, and I just happened to be visiting my friend in her pine forest when I finished my first ever sweater. Add to that these pine green shades that Ryan gifted me for my birthday and a very special photoshoot was in order. I'm quite pleased with it all: the trees, the sunglasses (the sun!) and a dainty little number to wear around my shoulders. Thank you, Ann. I love you.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

Gratitude. It's a loaded word, isn't it? There is an inherent guilt feeling that comes along with gratitude. Reminding oneself to be grateful for what is right in life instead of focusing on what is wrong, implies that our focus is flawed to begin with. However, the powerful messages from the dominant culture and other external sources can not be brushed aside. It's not popular to be satisfied and still, and a contented state of mind certainly doesn't drive our consumer economy. Considering how we are bombarded with these messages multiple times each and every day, it is no wonder that my past relationship with gratitude has been superficial at best. But I can feel change and transformation afoot in regards to being grateful. Real, deep perspective shifting change. And I am...well...so grateful!

Our 2 bedroom, 1000 square foot apartment in the middle of a dense urban center is never where I imagined my 40 year old self living and raising our family. But alas, here we are. The truth is, it's not a black and white issue, and I think that is why we have chosen to stay in this unlikely spot for the last few years and certainly for the immediate future. There are many factors at play that we've considered when making this decision, and I'd say the most prominent being the freedom it affords us, because quite frankly our long term dreams vacillate between two very polar extremes. On the one hand we would like to dig in to a large piece of land, 10 acres or so and make it our own, homesteading for the rest of our days. On the other hand, we would like to buy the perfect van and travel the world full time and long term. I know. We dream big and in different directions. In the meantime, we are living nothing like those 2 dreams, and I've learned to love, enjoy and accept where we are right now. I think the key to moving toward those goals, is to gradually move away from and resist fear, and allow ourselves to open more and more in the direction of love and joy. This is easier said than done and much like the sentiment of gratitude, quite loaded talk, but what does it really mean? You can't flip a switch and step into a life you love with all of the perfect circumstances as you've envisioned. You can however begin to examine the thought patterns, feelings and emotions that are making up each and every moment right now. What begins to happen is a gradual and subtle shift that can help us see things differently and can afford us the insight to make real and lasting changes in our lives.

I think what I am trying to say can be illustrated well with the example of our current living situation.
Is it small? Yes.
Is it too small for a family of four? Yes, definitely for some.
Is it in the middle of a polluted, over populated city? Yes.
Is a major urban area the best place to raise children. Depends who you ask.
When we leave our house, do we have to factor in extra time for gridlock and traffic jams?
Most of the time, yes.

Looking at our life and our city in this way yields a pretty bleak and hopeless feeling. But what if I think about what is good here, and what keeps us in this spot and not running for the hills.

Is the economy and job market robust, affording us the freedom and flexibility to eat organic high quality foods that nourish our bodies and to pursue the activities that we all enjoy the most and the time to pursue them together? Yes.
Do we have ample grass in the front and back of our home for our kiddos to run around outside under their own discretion? Yes.
Do we live in a climate of year round sunshine and mild temperatures? Yes.
Do we have breathtaking and abundant nature just miles away? Yes.
Do we have well established and strong connections with not only our landlord (whom does not raise our rent) but also our neighborhood and the community at large? Yes.
Do we live on a quiet street that feels almost (almost) peaceful, while at the same time being right in the heart of a world class city and all of the amenities that such a city affords?
The answer is a most definitive yes.

When I choose to see our lives and opportunities through these glasses, I start down the narrative of "why ever leave?" And I think for us, really right now we would like a place of our own. A place that we can call home and do with whatever we want. And that dream gets vey tricky in this real estate market very quick. And thus, confusion.

Every person is a unique expression of life, with individual needs, desires, perspective. Every person's journey will be different, but I think a common goal that we all may be trying to attain is authenticity - living a truer, deeper and more meaningful life. Part of that journey for me has been recognizing that it is not what a situation looks like, whether it be your home, your personal style, or even your relationships, but it is the way these things feel. This has been quite a shift for me considering I'm a designer and visual person by trade. But I think the real essence is more along the lines of being ok with where you are in a given moment. Realizing all is as it should be and everything is going to be all right. There is a lot to be scared about right now, but I resist that darkness, I resist it over and over, moment by moment.

I took the photos above this past weekend from my front doorstep. My front doorstep, where the view consists of street lamps, power lines and a multiplex across the street just a stone's throw away. My front doorstep, where the weather is fair and we play outside during all 4 seasons of the year. My front doorstep where the birds and squirrels are aplenty and delight us with their beautiful music all day long. My front doorstep, where the sky is fuschia pink with the West Coast sunset. My front doorstep, where, in that moment, I was so glad to call home.

The secret to having it all is knowing you already do.

Playing Games

It sometimes seems that our days are filled with a constant stream of games from beginning to end. Whether it be board games, make believe, or physical rough housing, Rylie and Otis, like all kids, thrive on playing. They both enjoy active imaginations and can be happily entertained in their own world independently for long periods of time. Sometimes, one of them will make up a game and relentlessly campaign for a willing participant.


Such was the case this weekend when they found a bunch of cardboard boxes in the garage and set them out on the lawn as burning buildings. See the tissue paper flames? They started the game in the front yard where they would get the "call" alerting them to the burning buildings in the back yard. They then would run at top speed to the back with their croquet mallets in hand, ready to quite literally "fight" the fire. What exciting adventure for these firefighters. This game easily went on for an hour while I sat quietly watching and knitting from my perch at the back door.

Ryan and I are always getting roped into these game too and it seems that we inevitably end up pretending to be a horse, carting children to and fro. More often than not, I have a child hanging off my body somewhere. Otis also loves playing with the big black camera. He snapped the 2 photos above. 

Apprentice Of The Wild

Rylie and I have been lucky enough to be a part of the Apprentice of the Wild program this winter. Every other week we meet at a beautiful natural area that is well outside the city, though still near the freeway (in LA you are never more than a stone's throw from the freeway, never.) It is a wonderfully diverse place and each time we visit we learn more and grow more comfortable in the space. As the weather has changed from week to week, so has the plant and animal life. When we were out there yesterday, on what was the warmest day of the year thus far, all of the trees and shrubs were aglow with bright green tender soft leaves and the pollen was floating like tiny cotton tufts lazily through the air. They say the pollen is going to be epic this year due to the heavy rains of this winter. 

Despite free range exploration in nature and connecting with new people, Rylie learns ancient and survival skills aplenty. She has learned how to correctly carve with her knife, how to fashion a toothbrush from a cottonwood branch and how to catch a lizard in a snare. I can see her confidence and comfort level grow with each passing week. It is subtle, but each class finds her settling in just a little bit more and finding her place there amongst the trees.

And perhaps of equal importance is her comfort level socializing with new friends and unfamiliar faces. She's easily overwhelmed by large groups of kids, especially those in which she does not know anyone, so she typically stays pretty close to me on our class days. Yesterday was a different story all together when she used her sense of humor and goofiness to catch the attention of a group of kids playing in the water. They bonded quickly over a friendly game of throwing gigantic boulders in the water and naming them different random objects (I heard violin, pizza, baby pig, to name a few.)

This group of kids is unlike any other I've been a part of for how many of them that are present each week in the woods. They are calm, attentive, kind. They are helpful, interested, curious. It is such a treat to spend time learning from nature with them. And on the subject of learning, I, myself, learn so much in this class from identifying wild edibles to fashioning a willow branch into a mule deer. I had a thought yesterday along the lines of: Wisdom Keepers is doing it right, they are teaching all of the right things in an era in which the human relationship with nature is tenuous at best.

Rylie mostly loves to run off and explore while she takes to this wild area on each of our visits. It is a rare treat to be able to run, splash and play in rushing water in Southern California. They other thing she really enjoys is the stories. Our teacher, Sean, tells a folktale, parable, or other thought provoking and inspiring story each and every class.

I love to be out there in the fresh air surrounded by the infinite trees and to learn from Mother Nature's endless knowledge. I'm still learning each and everyday all the lessons this life has to teach me. Hopefully this early relationship with nature we are providing for our kids will inform their lives and their experiences in such a way to impart lifelong wisdom. Our greatest wish for them it to have a solid and firm understanding of who they are and where they belong in this world. That is an education without a price.

International Women's Day

There is much that comes to mind as I approach blogging regularly again for the first time in 4 years. Above all I am thinking of how this can be a meaningful, enjoyable and sustainable process. Perhaps the most important question to answer is: why blog in the first place? It's a question I have grappled with and have had numerous answers to in the past. But right now, in this moment of my life, I think what I want most of all is for this blog to be a reflection of our life right now. An accurate representation of our days and a documentation of family life. I think in the past it was very easy to wrap business ideas and blogging with a bigger goal or agenda in mind. Add blogging as writing practice in the mix and things are getting really messy quite quickly. All of this to say, I want this place to be a true and honest reflection of our life and our days right now, and I also want to be able to write without an agonizing amount of scrutiny on myself. I want to present my thoughts without a lot of proofreading and revising. That's not to say I do not want to present the most well crafted representation of my thoughts, not at all. But, I want to be realistic about the amount of time I can devote here in relationship to all of the other endeavors I would like to pursue. The truth is I could write, rewrite, revise and rewrite, and still think of a better way to phrase an idea at the end of it all. In no small part, this is about letting go of perfectionism and embracing the idea of living out loud, being unafraid to put it all out there and recognizing that the repetition of doing (practice) is what yields progress and skill development, not painstakingly crafting one piece of perfect writing for multiple hours. Not to mention, the former is worlds more enjoyable. So, I'm easing up, feeling lighter, and learning to enjoy the process. I hope these concepts are reflected in my writing.

Yesterday was International Women's Day so we made some signs, grabbed some yarn and headed downtown to the Federal Building for a rally and knit in. I didn't need much convincing, I mean, really they had me at "knit in." But practically speaking, one does not get much knitting done when you are escorting 6 children under 7 downtown. 

Rylie decided quite quickly what she wanted her sign to say. Otis said he wanted his sign to say, "Love You, Love Otis." Rylie said it should say something about girls since it was International Women's Day, so they decided on "Love Girls." Otis made a second sign that read "Love Birdies." He is absolutely smitten with all the birds visiting our feeders right now. Who was I to tell him that wasn't really a protest sign?

There were a good number of women and men at the strike, inspiring messages and a beautiful vibe of people coming together for a common cause. There were a few children and everyone was peaceably demonstrating. I heard a woman speaking about how feminists have been marching on March 8th for decades and in the 70s they would start the march downtown and stop and protest in front of every building that oppressed women. Needless to say, it was a very long day. 

Our crew of feminist protestors was happy to represent. They like to see all the people, joining in solidarity, uniting and wearing the same color. They like to hear the words of the speakers even if they do not completely understand the importance of what is being said. They like the noise, the chants, the songs. They like when strangers smile at them and compliment their signs or shout words of encouragement: "Get it girl! You're fighting the good fight." And they like to be together with their buddies and run, jump and parkour all over the place on all of the interesting structures that downtown delivers like no other place in the city. 

I think what they might secretly like most of all is the promise of taquitos and churros on Olivera Street after working up a hearty appetite on the line.