We are a family that thrives on adventure, on getting out there in it as much as we can, and living outdoors. We had a trip planned (that we would be on this very moment) to ramble and camp around Utah's national parks, that we had to cancel for obvious reasons at some point mid-month. I'm not complaining, just sharing. I know that every single person amongst us has had to sacrifice a lot right now, has had to make disappointing decisions. I can deal with a little disappointment and postponing a trip is certainly small potatoes in the grand scheme of current events. The kids were naturally disappointed as well. There have been other plans that have had to be cancelled in the last few weeks, and even though we are homeschoolers, our current day to day is barely recognizable compared to our normal rhythm and routine. We've had a lot of family discussions about what is happening with the pandemic and what it means for virtually every family in the world right now (keeping it simple for them so as to not make them fretful and worrisome.) They are understandably upset and frustrated, making proclamations like, "Coronavirus is so boring!" and "When Coronavirus is over, I am going to..." always filling in the blank with some grand new plan.
On Friday night, when my phone blared with the emergency broadcast beep of tornado warnings of my youth (growing up in Michigan, as I did) and the modern day Amber Alert, I stopped what I was doing and hunted down my device to see "what now?" It was a message alerting LA county residents that we were to stay home, only going out for groceries, and necessary errands. And the last part, sunk into my heart a bit, "Beaches and trails are now closed." Last weekend we were able to hike in a little known local spot and we took a family bike ride around the wetlands, but now the mandates are more severe; Covid-19 is closing nature.
Right now, there is effectively no getting out there in it. Right now the government is issuing stay at home orders. And we are still in the early days of what I think will be a long haul of staying at home. Rhythm, rules, expectations, schedules, consistency -- it's all so important right now. But what is also so important right now is reading how the kids are doing in all of this, and how we are doing in all of this. Are the kids bickering more than usual? Is there stress and grief in your chest? Are you raising your voice more than you'd like? If so, don't be afraid to let it all go and get out there in it the only way we can right now... in our own backyards.
And that is just what we did yesterday. I told everyone that I was going into the backyard to build a campfire and I did not insist that anyone join me, or that they not. I let the laundry sit wet in the washer (horror!). I put off email and texting and many other items on the to do list. I grabbed my basket of crafts and just sat down. It was lovely, restorative and relaxing. My breathing slowed way down. My family joined me in the backyard, following my lead and leaving their cares as they passed the threshold from inside to out.
It was a great afternoon out there. The kids really wasted no time in stripping off their clothes to their underwear. They jumped in the trampoline like that for hours, getting out occasionally to let the hose "rain" down inside onto their heads, making the surface all wet and slippery so they were now bouncing and slip and sliding. At one point, they were poking around in the corners of the yard and they snuck up on a lizard and actually caught the little bugger for a few short minutes. As they examined him in all of his detail, mouths agape at his long, snake-like tail and incredibly intricate patterning on his scales; they noticed his long, nimble fingers and toes, his skinny body and beady eyes. Piper did her best sloth impression, splayed out in the sunshine most of the afternoon. Oh! And the mud, I can't forget that part. At some point during the day, I realized I had all that I needed to make some seed balls and got to mixing a bucket of compost and clay. As I was rolling the balls, the kids noticed what a nice texture this particular brand of mud was and asked for their own bucket. So they mixed up a nice batch and proceeded to mush their toes around in it, and their hands, and decided to effectively give themselves a mud bath. Rylie really has never grown out of her mud phase, and I love that! There is plenty of time in life to be clean, don't bother when you are nine years old!
Today, is a little more regular. School work is running smoothly, emails are sent, and the wet clothes have been moved over to the dryer (phew!). Isn't it sort of incredible, the difference that a day makes? Apparently, I'm still learning this lesson some 9 years into this parenting gig. Things can feel so overwhelming in the moment, so impossible. But time and time again, I know that these moments pass... that there are easier times just over the horizon. It can feel downright daunting to get to the other side of those moments gracefully sometimes. Most likely, these days are going to show up a little more often as we navigate these stressful times. Perhaps, the best thing I can do on days like that is to let it all go and to get out there in it. Our favorite place to be.
